Monday, July 30, 2012

Sleep deprivation

HP, I'm glad you are sleeping well today, because after yesterday?  I was afraid it might not work out, this whole "having you as part of our family" thing.  Child, why do you fight sleep when you're tired?  You're unhappy, I'm unhappy, your dad's unhappy.  All in all, it's not a great situation.  Although I will give you credit that once you finally went to sleep at 5pm, you slept until the next morning at 7 (aside from waking up to eat, but that's to be expected).

Here are some fragments of our day:

*The day started out with you shooting poop across the room (literally) to land on the wetbags, two walls, and the floor.  Your dad appreciated that 3am joy.  I appreciated you missing the diaper bag.

*Desperately trying to get you to take a nap with me in the bed because I was about to lose my mind if I had to walk around the house with a screaming child in my arms any longer.  You didn't oblige.

*Henry (after you FINALLY went to sleep at 5pm after skipping all but a brief mid-day nap): "It was a sad moment when I realized that the highlight of my day was mowing the lawn.  There's not even a close second."

*Me sobbing at the kitchen table after realizing I probably have thrush again since my nipples are hot pink, it burns when he nurses, and I occasionally have shooting pains in my breast.  It's just been one thing after another with breastfeeding.

*Me, looking at you after you'd gone to sleep: "Look at that sweet face!  It's hard to believe he was giving us such a hard time all day."  Henry in response: "I think you forget easier than I do.  I look at him and I think *shakes fist in the air*."  (Of course he's joking.  Sort of.  But he really does love you.)

But today you've been great.  We went on our morning walk, you've been napping like a champ, and I think I may have figured out what has been bothering you so much--a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance due to your snacking habits.  The symptoms fit you to a T, right down to the spraying poop.  What did people do before Google?  Actually, don't answer that, because what they probably did was rely on their family doctor instead of over-diagnose their child after typing symptoms into a search engine.  Ah, well... I figure getting you to eat full meals instead of snacking every.single.hour can only be a good thing for everyone involved.

We love you, even when we're exhausted, but it's a whole lot easier to like you when we've had some sleep.  Let's work on that.

(Yesterday was exceptionally terrible, normally HP is an excellent sleeper and I feel lucky to have avoided the complete and total exhaustion that most new parents feel right from the start.) 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The status of the likelihood of a sibling for HP

Last night I asked Henry how he was feeling about having a second child, and specifically, how likely it was that it would happen (obviously not for a couple of years).  As I mentioned here, we are both concerned about the environmental impact of having children.  (Although after reading this article I feel like we're so screwed anyway that we might as well have more if that will bring us joy.)

When we first discussed the number of children we would like to have (long before marriage was even on the table) I said I wanted three or four.  He said one, maybe two.  I always felt that two was too few (as the youngest of four I just love having siblings!), but I was willing to take the possible fourth child out of the equation and settle on two or three, knowing that two was most likely.  Obviously neither of us had any clue what it was like to have a child and all our discussions were purely theoretical.  How can you really know how many children you want until you know what it's like to raise them?

After becoming pregnant with HP, we agreed that we would wait and see how we feel after his birth/first year before continuing the discussion.  When I popped the question yesterday he looked at me like I was crazy and said there was "maybe a one percent chance" of HP becoming a big brother.  When he asked me the same question I said 80 percent.

Then he laughed.

We'll revisit the issue when HP's a little older and the difficulties of these first weeks have faded a bit from his memory.