Last night I attended a backyard screening of The Greenhorns. It was just what I needed. I left feeling inspired, which is something I haven't felt in awhile.
The original plan was that wherever Henry found an engineering job I would look for a year-long internship. Since moving to Texas, becoming a full-time farmer has become a deferred dream. My husband and I have decided to make starting a family our first priority, which means a year-long internship is unlikely. Somehow the thought of pulling weeds for hours on end while in the throes of morning sickness sounds less than ideal. I'm still working to cultivate my skills as a wannabe farmer through various volunteer opportunities, but I have discovered that I am a homesteader at heart. When I imagine my future, I do not picture myself with a farming business that generates a livable income; I picture myself with a beautiful backyard garden that feeds my family, friends, and neighbors.
Part of the reason I do not envision a full-time, money-making career farmer is because of Henry. It is not that he is unsupportive--he goes above and beyond to encourage me and all my half-baked ideas--it's that he does not share the same vision. He loves his current job and career path and has no desire to trade that in for full-time farming. Just as he respects my need to not to be in an office staring at a computer all day, I respect his desire to continue the work that he loves. But a career as a farmer? You need your partner to be all in. We're talking hands in the dirt, pulling out weeds, crying over broken irrigation systems, and praying for rain kind of "in". I don't want to farm on my own. Running a homestead with the help and support of my husband? Sounds great. Spending my days in the field and his in the office while trying to make it work financially and emotionally? Not so much.
Watching the Greenhorns with a group of young people trying to make it as farmers was exactly the lift I needed. While I have different goals for my future than many of my fellow attendees, I nevertheless felt invigorated by their energy to keep doing what I'm doing and taking steps toward the future I want for myself and my family.